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   Thursday, February 28, 2002
I've finished taking my test. An all I can think about is Antonio, you and I. Maybe we shouldn't of had a kid. I don't think you know what you want yet. You haven't got to live yet, like everyone says. An your not ready for a commitment. Or up to the challenge of not being able to the center of attention around the girls anymore. It's not the same and you should have realized that by now. I've changed your life and you weren't ready for the responsibilities in hand. Nor were you ready to give up acting like a kid. When you have a kid yourself, that you don't even take care of. All I do is take care of our kid and you can't see that through you head. You have no idea what it is like to take on those kind of responsibilities at our age. Yeah you have a kid but the question is. Do you take care of him and provide for his necessities? I believe this would be a no.
Something needs to change. I'm tired of being the one with everything to worry about. All you worry about is whether you'll have me or not. That's not much to worry about, because I'm nothing and I never will be.
You need to begin the journey of being an adult. Maybe it wasn't planned this way, but it happened. So be a man and grow the fuck up.


I just went and checked to see if it was working. So you can read it if you'd like. I told you the wrong url last time. Sorry didn't mean to.


Not sure what's going on between the two of us anymore or why it has to happen to us. I love you.
I would have kept going with my last blog, except Kit pissed me off and I needed to take my accounting test. Sorry.
Maybe one day we can work out the things between us.


I feel sort of sorry for what I did to you this morning. I never feel as if I'm good enough for you. I can't trust you like I'd wish to and I'm not sure if it's my fault. I HATE the skanky DeLaTorre's. There just like your fucking grandma. An worst of all you never bothered to say anything, defending me was not a priority. How can you say you love me, when the time of my life is in your hands. I had your son and that must not be enough for you. To show you how much I love you.

It hurts to know that you never made it to the hospital. It was like you didn't care. An then of course the DeLaTorre's were there. Is that how you show me that you love me. I hate you. I love you. I'm not sure anymore what I want to do about the things that have come between the two of us.

I'm giving you this weekend. An that is it. If you love me so much like you say you do. Then prove it. This weekend is the last chance your getting. I've done everything, and that seems not enough.
I say I love you so much. An I do. All the things you've done to me, are still hurting me. So I try to forgive you, and yet I can't, maybe you should just forget about me. I'll never be your loving one, I'm not sure if I can ever trust you. My throat hurts now, trying to not think of the things that make me feel the way I do. I've said I'm sorry many times. An wish everything could be the same as before. I have no idea what I need to do.

I love you. An hope you love me to. I try to believe everything that you say. An now I'm sorry. I don't want to ever end things between the two of us. Our dreams together are so important. What about you being a football player and I an accountant. How many kids? 5.


Oh, my today is the last day of February. Sweet. I feel really bad because Michael and I were fighting this morning. It was bad, I even started hitting him. I feel so bad. I love him and yet I hate him. Like now. I feel like he never tells me the truth or I'm never good enough for him. Is it all my fault? It seems like it always is.


Hey, I'm sorry for hitting you this morning.